How to Deal with a Bad Day

Enjoy this excellent article by
creativity consultant Christine Kane.

Let's face it. No matter how much progress we make, we're still going to have "bad days."

You know the ones.

When the old critical voices are milling about drinking martinis in your head. You try to send them all away with your favorite powerful affirmation, but only a few of them even look up - and one of them turns away and snickers.

So, what do you do when no matter what you do, you're just icky?

Very few success-gurus or business coaches talk about the bad day. Rarer still is any discussion on the process of following your dreams or building a business and the persistence it takes to break through old patterns.

Sometimes it helps to hear someone be honest about this stuff. Not so that you can indulge in self-pity about how hard you have it. But so that when the bad day strikes, you have some leverage and you KNOW WHAT TO DO! (Or not to do!)

So, how do you get through a bad day?

Here's a few things that help me. Let them help you too...

WHAT TO REMIND YOURSELF:

1 - The icky voices do not tell the truth.

They're just your old voices coming up to feed. Do not feed them. This is what makes them stay.

2 - This is not who you are.

The voices like to tell you that this messed up person is who you really are and that the rest of the world doesn't have these same flaws.

Not true.

This is just a temporary set back. That's all.

3 - Lattes don't take the voices away. It just makes them go faster.

Bad Days are not a call to rush out to Starbucks, hoping that if you move faster, it will all go away. If there's any action that needs to be taken now, it's probably a nap.

4 - You can put off your productivity until tomorrow.

Consciously choosing to be unproductive is much more effective than spending the day wondering why you can't get anything done. It really is okay to put down your goals and to-dos for one day. You can return to them tomorrow. Today, make it your goal to consciously do nothing.

5 - Everything seems worse when you're tired or hungry.

If you are tired or hungry, that could be the primary cause of feeling bad. Eat something yummy. Take a nap. Go somewhere and sit quietly.

WHAT TO DO:

1 - Stop feeling bad about feeling bad.

If it helps, make today a container. Know that you're allowed to have this stuff and that nothing horrid is going to happen with this one day of getting thrown off.

2 - Make no decisions.

The late Richard Carlson, author and psychologist, gave this great advice: "Never make decisions when you're in a low mood." That's because low moods are a natural occurrence and that any low-mood decisions are typically not healthy. Put off all decisions when you're having a bad day.

3 - Don't read fashion magazines. Or the news.

4 - Take a 20 minute walk.

Bring a gentle affirmation along with you. On days like this you don't want to say, "I am master of the universe!!!" On days like this you want to say, "I am loved. I am precious."

5 - Don't try to FIX yourself today.

No need to rush to the Self-Help section at Borders. Maybe there are steps you can take toward being healthier in the big picture. But today, let yourself stop.

6 - Lower your standards.

If you eat a good healthy meal, be proud. If you do a little yoga, give yourself a high five. Tomorrow you can have your old high standards back and be productive and evolved and all that. Not today.

7 - Say NO to anything if it's motivated by the word "should."

This is a good rule to follow on good days too!

8 - Ask yourself what you feel like doing.

Sometimes the answer to this can be surprising. Maybe you'll want to begin a fiction audiobook and clean your closet! Maybe you'll just want a nap. Don't judge your response. Just do it. You might be surprised at how this one little bit of permission changes your state instantly!

9 - Don't do anything destructive.

Don't overdose on sugar or indulge in alcohol. Don't call anyone who drains you. It will not help.

WHAT TO BE:

Be very, very kind to yourself.

WHAT TO KNOW:

That the victory is not about not having bad days anymore. The victory is that you can get back up after having one.

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Christine Kane is the Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World. She helps women uplevel their lives, their businesses and their success. Her weekly LiveCreative eZine goes out to over 12,000 subscribers. If you are ready to take your life and your world to the next level, you can sign up for a F.R.E.E. subscription at http://christinekane.com.

Nothing New Under the Sun

Don’t you hate being predictable? I had been waiting to get into gardening. I had this notion that I couldn’t tackle the outside of the house until I “finished” or at least “caught up on” the inside of the house.

Every spring I would put a couple of geraniums in pots and promise, “pretty soon”… “not this year but soon.” I would keep trying to slog away at the clutter, and paint the woodwork, fold the laundry, and so on and so on. Meanwhile I would pore over gardening books and magazines and imagine what I would do with the garden when I finished the house.

After living in said house for more than twenty years, it finally dawned on me that unless I had some sort of personality transplant, I will never finish the house. Or even get caught up. I am “housekeeping-challenged” and I have accepted that. So I finally decided to start on the garden. I started by literally carving out some garden space in the front of the house, two-foot square by two-foot square, I cut patches of grass out in front of the evergreens with a paring knife. I lifted out the grass and kneaded each clump to work out the dirt. I couldn’t wait to dig out the whole bed before starting to plant. So square by square, after the grass was out, I worked in some peat moss and added new top soil, I planted a perennial and added a pink geranium for color. I finished off with pine mulch and admired my work.

It felt great. I loved being outside in the sun. I loved working the dirt with my fingers, and I loved how the little patches looked when I was finished. After I had been at it for a few days, my neighbor from across the street stopped by. “Wouldn’t that go faster if you rented a sod cutter?” she suggested. “Probably,” I replied, “but I like doing it with my hands. It’s therapeutic,” I said with no irony in my voice.

I felt so creative. I had not just planted some flowers; I had not just discovered gardening. I had INVENTED gardening. I had had a similar experience once before. When I gave birth to my first daughter, I was heady with the knowledge that I was the first human being to invent the whole processes of child bearing. Now I knew that no one before me had experienced the wonder that comes from that special communion with nature that produces a beautiful flower bed.

What intoxication! This was the cure for all forms of frustration or melancholy. Just get out there with those garden tools, and in minutes blue moods would be banished. The physical benefits were equally health-giving; surely the digging, bending, lift, standing, kneeling, walking, carrying would bring a new trim to my waist even as they brought roses to my cheeks and to the garden.

I was in love. I was so clever.

Within weeks I read that baby boomers by the millions are taking up gardening. Those of us born between the years of 1946 and 1964 can’t seem to do anything alone. Whether it is attending rock concerts, growing long hair, dropping out of school, or discovering the joys of the garden, we do it in droves.

Three Pages of Magic

If you have looked at my profile, you know that The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron is one of my all time favorite books. I discovered Julia about 12 years ago, and that book changed my life. The Artist's Way shows everyone how to access, or reclaim, their creativity. One of the tools Julia uses is what she calls morning pages. They are three pages of long-hand writing to be done first thing in the morning.

Ms. Cameron says she hesitates to even call this writing because that idea sounds a little intimidating. It's just the physical act of putting down on paper whatever comes into your head. It really does clear your head and eliminate some of the minutia that distracts you during your day. I'd like to say I have been doing morning pages every day for 12 years now, but I'd be lying. My real life doesn't work that way, and maybe yours doesn't either. But I can say that every day that I do write morning pages, I feel better when I have finished. I can also say that the more consistent I am about it, the better I feel. I actually do become more creative, more focused and happier.

So read the book, or just start writing. It's a real day brightener!

copyright © Dianne Morr